Sometimes I feel almost obligated to be dating. I am not monogamous. I write about non-monogamy. Am I less credible if I only have one partner? Of course, the answer is no. Regardless, every few months I try to put some effort into meeting potential new romantic partners. I tidy up my online profile, add a few new pictures, answer some questions about my life preferences so I can be matched with suitable mates. Then I prepare myself for the barrage of nonsense ranging from the obscene to the messages clearly indicating they had not read my profile.

A couple months ago I went on a date that seemed promising initially. Then we went back to his place. He insisted we try one of his favorite things to do: whiskey slaps. You take a shot of whiskey than someone slaps you. Sounds strange but I’m always up for trying new things. He said he would go first so he could gauge how hard to slap me. I didn’t slap him that hard because I’m not into slapping. Then he proceeded to slap me much harder than I wanted to be slapped. Needless to say, there was not a second date, and I had to take a break.

When I tried again a few weeks ago, I was not assaulted. However, when I told the fellow that my dream job was to write and travel, he chuckled and asked if I’d also like to be a rockstar. I stared at him flatly and informed him I don’t play any instruments. My mood might have become a bit defensive just in time for him to bring up religion. Then I might have lied and told him I was calling it a night and instead went out by myself for another few drinks.

The next guy I met at a bar. He was tall, dark, and handsome, and we hit it off. I actually felt really attracted to him, and it was so fun going on a first date without having read his profile and knowing how compatible a website thought we were. Everything looked so promising until he informed me he can’t perform with a condom on. Sure there are ways to potentially work around this but feels like a dealbreaker. 

So tonight I’m in by myself with the cat working on projects and writing and remembering that I do have two partners and one of them is me. I like making cosplays and editing pictures. Some nights it’s really nice to zone out and play video games or lose myself in one of the fantasy series I’m reading. This is part of what I love about non-monogamy. I have an amazing partner who I love spending time with and miss terribly when he’s away, but I also have all the time I need to do me. 

Eventually, I’m sure I’ll meet someone else I’m willing to share my precious time with. It will be fun and new and genuine. However, I am not going to put effort into dating simply because I can. Time to put on my magic cloak and use my fire spells to destroy some bad guys.

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