Erving Goffman was a sociologist who first put to writing the idea of life as a stage on which we each play multiple roles. It’s lovely really to think of life as a masquerade where you change masks depending on the company, particularly for those of us who find ourselves participating in alternative lifestyles often misunderstood.
My masks are varied. To pay the bills, I put on the mask of social worker who occasionally struggles to find the balance between the good and bad in this world. When I go out to play on the weekends, my masks varies depending on whether I’m with friends who approve of my non-monogamous ways. With my family, the mask changes yet again, and I bow my head when they pray for dinner even though I’ve been an atheist for years.
In the past I’ve worn the masks of student and wife. Student was one of my favorites, as evidenced by the not one but two master’s degrees I collected. Wife worked out for awhile, but in the end, it was not a good fit. Turns out monogamy was not the right style for me, but the new mask I wear with the fellow I am in an open relationship with fits quite snugly.
It was not so simple as exchanging one for the other. The past two years have been rife with heartbreak and bad Tinder dates, so I decided to take on another mask, that of a writer. Not just any writer, mind you. I decided to do a literature review on the science of love. My upcoming book Catch and Release takes you on this journey.
This blog is an extension of that project. I will take apart studies I like or dislike. Unlike my book which is entirely about me and the men luckily and sometimes unluckily enough to have been involved with me, the blog will also incorporate stories from others dating as grownups so to provide some varied perspectives.
Your comments are greatly appreciated. Enjoy 🙂